a little heartbroken

I'm feeling a little heartbroken this Christmas Eve.

We lost our grandma Billie today.

And even knowing everything I know about our Heavenly Father's plan, and how tough these last few months have been for her,  I am still just sad.

Sad that this woman is no longer in my world.

Sometimes its not until someone is gone that you realize what a huge part of your world they are.

She is a woman I will always look up to and will feel the void of her passing each day.

I wish I were with MY mom right now.

I wish I could try be there for her. Because the hole in her heart she described to me today I wish I could help mend. 

But for now, for this Christmas Eve, all I can do is be a little heartbroken because an incredible women who I love is no longer here.

We will miss you Florene Geniveve Berset Ausman

 But I know this Christmas will be your best ever.

little christmas-ings

Item #1

Nutcracker Suite Music Box

Little did I know when my dream of owning a Nutcracker Music Box came true, Brig's did too.

When I first pulled it out of its box I sat it on a chair so he could get a good view.

That lasted one showing.

But do you see the wonder on that face?

It then found a home here.

He can barely see over the edge of our console table so I pulled up a chair for him for better view.

He'll watch it 3-4 times through (8 songs each time)

And when I don't pick him up and dance around, his little legs will waggle and dance along.

This picture cracks me up because if you know my house you know what went on here.

Brig pushed this chair all the way from the breakfast nook so he could have a better view.

Now press play mom.

Item #2

Vanilla Steamers

  

They just taste like Christmas to me.

And Brig loved having his own.

He was such a big boy carrying it and drinking it all by himself.

Yum.

And see that fireman badge?

A kindly fireman watching me chase brig around starbucks offered it him as a small distraction.

It didn't work. But it sure looked cute on his coat.

Item #3

YouTube

I made the horrible mistake of introducing Brig to train videos on YouTube.

We were shopping around for the perfect model train for under our tree and I let Brig take a looks to see his reaction.

Love.

He sat watching model trains on YouTube for at least 30 minutes.

And now any computer, phone, laptop, is requested he watch trains.

And No, he isn't nice about his requests or polite when it's time to stop watching them.

But those 3 things have been very much a part of our Christmas season here.

Leaves

Here in Sonoma County, racking leaves is a December activity.

So Brig and I spent an afternoon in the backyard.

It's funny we don't play in the backyard as often as I would think. Mostly cause I've got to do a poop pick up, and Brig will really only play outside if I am out there with him.

He was a particularly good helper on this occasion however.

I even made him a giant sliding leaf pile.

I have the best memories of racking leaves in our huge yard growing up.

Dry crunchy oak leaves we used to put in massive piles and take turns having my dad throw us in. (Really, how do you not get hurt doing that kind of thing? )Then my mom would help us make "houses" out of the leaves and we'd play in those houses till dark. Something so magical about the times you remember your parents actually "playing along" with you. I'm determined to be better at it.

so blurry, but he was so excited.

We really only have enough leaves for one pile at our house. But that seemed to be plenty for a Brig.

he's saying "gooo"

and it was a hit.

See? he's signing more.

Oh, and he also finally ventured into the dog house. He seems to think it's his own club house.

Oh well, at least someone in the family is using it.

oh, Christmas tree!

We found Grandma Buddy's last year.

And Nate said I made the same comment last year 

"I want to live in this house"

My pictures do no justice. But Grandma Buddy's is the cutest most picturesque place on Christmas tree earth. And don't worry, you'll get better pictures next year because I've decided this will be the location of Christmas Card 2012.

There are rows and rows of trees all priced and ready to be chopped down by yourself.

  

And these rows and rows surround this amazing house, all dressed in garland.

Though I thought this was going to be a hands-free lovely experience, I thought wrong.

Brig loved the rows and rows and ran and ran and really made actual tree shopping impossible.

We finally just cut one of the trees he happened to stop in front of down.

And poor Nate broke quite the sweat hacking our tree down with this contraption.

Oh and Brig was trying to climb through the fence to get to the road.

You pay in the "wreath barn" which is the cutest place ever with a fully equipped train set, town, hot chocolate bar, flocking service, mistletoe displays, and of course wreaths.

Like I said, I anticipate next years Christmas card to be spectacular.

And then there is nothing more romantic than driving home with a tree atop your car.

And because this is how it really is when I want to take pictures, here is Brig throwing a fit over my shoulder.

As for the finished product of our tree?

Grandma Buddy's might be the most picturesque, but our tree sucks this year.

It sits lopsided, Brig destroys the ornament arrangement, and it doesn't even smell.

So no tree picture to remember it by and good riddance 12/26!

Tanksgiving

I threw a grand fit about making it back to Utah for Thanksgiving this year. Nate mentioned we probably could only make it to Utah for either Christmas or Thanksgiving but not both.

For some reason, nothing sounds more depressing to me then being alone on Thanksgiving. 

Christmas, not so much it is fun in and of its self.

But Thanksgiving? It's a holiday built around a table of food shared with family.

So we made it to Utah.

And it was a Williams year.

Us Williams are on a "on-year off-year" rotation with in-laws and such.

My favorite Williams Thanksgiving in memory.

 It was only my immediate family which made it low-key, relaxed, and as intimate as 25 can be.

My favorite.

My family.

I love them.

Oh and know what we did the night before thanksgiving?

I revealed that baby #2 is a BOY.

I made cupcakes with blue frosting in the middle. Everyone bit in at the same time.

I would say the majority was surprised to say the least :)

And somehow I didn't snap a photo of it at all?

Brig loved the freedom of being at Nannie's.

He played outside, went up stairs to play, then down stairs to play and it really was pretty hands-off as parents. And he sported his Thanksgiving suit created by yours truly out of Nate's old sweats.

It's cute.

He kinda loves his Dad. 

And after Nate watched him while I got my hair done, my sisters explained he is much more fun of a parent than me.

And my sisters.

nothing like em'.

And do we like Brooke and I's matching bump?

Thank you Mom and Dad for a wonderful Thanksgiving.

We are truly thankful for you two!

Halloweeeeen

December 8th.... no comment

Our family festivites started with our ward trunk-or-treat

we we're "ugly monsters"

I had this vision months ago and would not be persuaded that Brig should be anything else.

A mix between an ugly doll and a monster from "where the wild things are"

Brig looked adorable

the trunk or treat was lame.... again.

and no one knew who or what we were.

It was a flash back to my 7th grade halloween costume... I could have had a cute homemade fairy costume like Brooke but instead I had my mom whip up an original Paige costume. I think I was supposed to be a mystery man? 

(Its really to bad the boots didn't fit in the picture. Oh and my hair is crimped.Oh and yes Brooke was hot in Jr high)

Who knows why I do these things...

Anyway,

Two great Halloween lessons learned this year:

1. have your child be something people recognize

2. Hand out candy (playdough is apparently lame)

But I loved Brig playing in his daddy's legs while we waited in line for some chili

and his mad dash for mom

Halloween Day....

Nate had to be in San Diego for the day 

and you betcha' I wasn't having no Halloween by my lonesome

So I headed down to Dublin for some cousin time.

Cass and I were awesome moms and took Cleo and Brig to play at their very awesome pumpkin patch

 brig sported his too small mummy shirt one last time.

They spent quite some time in the corn pit.

 Brig however preferred swimming in the corn and sampling kernels.

yuck.

we found a "moo brig"

 and another brig favorite.

THE WAGON

hands down the best part of the pumpkin patch for little man

He and Cleo gave each other rides round the patch

It then was time to round them up and get our trick-or-treat on.

 Brig began to suffer from no nap by this point....

but the white fluffy suit could have something to do with the ornery-ies as well... who knows?

But his love for an uncle Jonny and a red wagon helped a bit.

yes those sparkly eyes are tuned into Jon.

we trick-or-treated at Greg and Carie's and they so kindly fed us amazing Amici's pizza.

I had to document Brig eating pizza though... who doesn't love pizza front first?

 Then Cass and I rolled the toddlers round the block. They sat comfortably passing candy back and forth to each other as we rolled by front doors.

I'll finish with this picture.

It was the scariest house we hit and as you can see, their responses were hilarious.

All in all Halloween was a great success with no Nate and all.