2010

I AM really excited for this year.

But I also AM very blue today.

It is probably my new found day off and pregnancy hormones that are coursing through my veins that are making me this way but I can't seem to get the energy to put my house back together and get ready for the day right now.

It seems for the last 6 months I've been telling myself and envisioning myself in a comfortable home with a new baby who has everything he could want and need. Because I've been assuming such things I just KNEW when our lease at our apartment was up (Jan 31st) we would find ourselves in a home.

Well, yesterday reality kicked in and said home is looking very bleak before mr. 11 weeks and 3 days arrives. I can't really explain it, but this is simply devastating to me. I keep trying to rationalize with myself that it is NOT a big deal and everything will work out fine but I can't shake these blues. I think what makes me feel more terrible than anything is that all the important things (healthy baby, loving husband with good job) are in line and I really am countlessly blessed right at this moment with so many things. But my heart breaks for my baby if he doesn't have a nursery and has to lay on the hazardous carpet in our apartment.

I am so oober excited for baby B to arrive but I feel so homeless.

I know... we are not homeless and we are very fortunate for the things we have.

But today I am blue about it and I think I'll go climb back in bed.

P.S. no pictures for bloggy, I seem to have left camera in Utah and he won't be arriving for another week.