Januaries

January is just one of those months.

Nothing happens, and I just let it.

It's nice to have a nothing month after December. Sometimes it gets dull but sometimes I think I need dull. This January brought nesting thoughts to me. But my pregnant body only let those be thoughts and really we spent most of the month doing a whole lotta nothin.

But I will attempt to document some of the Januaries because it helps to actually look back and see that yes even though I feel like the most boring mom around, we did do one or two things thats suited a Brig's fancy.

 Like shaving cream bathtub paint while our carpets were being cleaned.

(pinterest is a wonderful thing)

And building forts on cleaning day

and the fact that I let him run around in a too small onesie while playing in forts.

We even had a snack before nap time in our fort.

And finally we got a day or two of rain. 

It's been ridiculously beautiful here and I have protested by pretending it is otherwise and staying indoors Oh fine. I've been tired.

While trying to snap a cute picture of my lil man puddle jumping, it turned into puddle drinking. 

So many disgusting things about toddlers.

frogs, snails, puppy dog tails... it's what I keep telling myself

 After the rain we had mud

so we ventured into the dog poo covered backyard for an afternoon.

 again... frogs, snails....

Then a little hot cocoa and banana before our 2nd bath of the day.

January also found Mr Clark out of town and working nights more often than usual.

So this pregnant momma took her boy to dinner a few nights.

Brig is a cheeseburger kind of guy and has mastered holding it on his own.

Oh and did I mention this horsey sits outside our dry cleaners?

Grammy and Papa's Christmas $1 have come in handy for this outing.

And lastly, we've attempted a few baby hikes.

running, throwing rocks, picking our own trails, watching "trains" (horse trailers) pull in, and enjoying being outside in January.

So see?

Looking back I feel much better about January.

a family, a funeral, a reunion

I wanna get this down before I move on in life here.

With my grandmas passing came her memorial service.

Although her passing on Christmas Eve was heartbreaking, the timing made so many wonderful things possible.

 For us Clark's, we already we're planning on being in Utah at that time but it meant Nate taking Brig to be with his family for their gathering and me able to be with mom trying to help her prepare for the memorial service, getting grandmas apartment squared away, and well mostly just being a companion. 

It was priceless and I am very grateful for my hub and his family for making it possible. 

For the rest of the Williams/Ausman family it meant us all being together for the first time in over 5 years.

Like I said, so many wonderful things.

All my siblings together for the first time in 4 years.

We're a handsome lot if you ask me :)

(almost) All the grandkids.... oh Gwynie

And all the grandkids in persona 

(Brig with his ipad, Poppy Greta Bella laughing with each other, Jude standing as close to Gil as possible, Ezzie freaking out cause he's not in his momma's arms, Miranda looking gorgeous, yadda yadda)

My family.

So extremely blessed that we could be there.

Memorial services aren't easy for toddlers but Brig did fantastic.

And I am so thrilled he did because the service was beautiful.

I kept reflecting on everyone in the room that afternoon and how I know almost all their fatal flaws, mistakes, bad qualities but I love every single one of them and am so proud to come from Ausman stock.

What a healing balm death can be.

Love you dearly grandma.

Christmas 2011

Just one month later.

Christmas this year was an unusual one.

Magical and heartsick all in the same 24 hours.

I woke up the 24th feeling blue because Nate jumped out of bed at 6 am to head to work and Brig and I had no fun Christmas Eve plans. And from my experience, it is the lack of planning something festive that makes me feel blue. And also from my experience, if I'm waiting for a big ole' festive family affair I tend to wait a long time and and am some what disappointed. So after Brig woke up and we watched some of the Polar Express, I made a delicious breakfast for the two's of us and decided we needed to make Santa some cookies.

We opted for ginger bread men and it was the first time I let Brig help me cook.

He loved it. He was a fantastic floury mess but now helps me cook in the kitchen several time a week.

Of course he got the first man out of the oven and frosted and decorated it himself.

All while still being a floury mess.

Then Nate got home. Brig took a nap. I started getting naggy about doing something "festive" for Christmas eve. 

And then... I got the call.

And all those worries, bugged at's, not festive enough's, meant absolutely nothing.

Everything was put in perspective and my heart pined to be with my mom and family 800 miles away.

The rest the day was spent low key at home. We took Brig to McDonalds to burn some Christmas Eve energy, dropped some ginger bread men off to Bryce and Lisa, then although it didnt really feel right, I prepared our seafood feast because well, it was all there!

We ate, opened Christmas jammies, went and looked at a few Christmas lights so Brig could "oohhhhh" for us (He ohhh's and ahhh's for all christmas lights), then came home to leave Santa his cookies and put a little man to bed.

However, when I went to put the cookies and milk down, Brig thought I had made him a picnic by the fireplace and helped himself

I really couldn't help but laugh and snap a few

So sorry Santa....

We'll try the concept again next year.

And then Christmas morning came with all it's magic.

I took on a few new traditions this year, one of which is giving Brig a book in his bed Christmas morning. David Mccullough said something about that being one of the reasons he is a "reader" and comes from a family of readers. Well, Brig needs all the help he can get in a 50/50 house so he got "The Polar Express" wrapped in his crib Christmas morning. Listening to him try figure out why a present was in his bed was a good 10 min entertainment. We then went in to get him and he guiltily handed me the still wrapped present when I got him (wrapped presents have been a hands off thing). Then the magic just grew and grew. He thought the book was amazing, then the first piece of candy in the stocking, then there were toys in the stocking, then presents (well trains to be specific and a DIY train table that near cost me my wits). Watching the magic was well, magical. It was a lazy day, lots of food, a very naughty pet during the one hour of church, and an over cooked prime rib.

And then it was over. 

But we can definitely report it was a merry Christmas.