oops....

i did this....

because....

i have had my hair in a ponytail AFTER i had it done for a week straight

.....

i am a hormonal nursing mother

....

i bleached my hair 9 months ago and was still suffering from the consequences

....

it seemed to be the only thing i was controlling in my life

take your pick which reason fits best.

i don't like it.

but i didn't like it before either.

so lose, lose

now if you ask me i am going with reason # 4 [control] because what a whirlwind life can be.

although i love being a mom, it is not a planned out affair and everyday holds a different story for me. why else do i not feel in control?

we're moving.

where you ask?

well no where i want to move.

basically there are only 2 places i want to move [a house here or utah]

my odds weren't good in that department anyway...

but we will now be residents of the north bay.

[well 95% sure]

so the roots we've finally put down?

rip them out.

my cheer job i love?

gone and me leaving them high and dry.

company for new mother while husband is working crazy hours?

non-existent.

distance from things familiar and airport?

far.

now you have my bleak outlook and push for a change in my hair, a change i controlled.

this is a really good career move for nate, a dream move actually

and

bizarre how things work out

i know my heavenly father's will is in this

and as hard as pitiful me thinks this is

i know this is somewhere we're supposed to go.

now having spilled all those beans and dried my eyes

that's all for tonight....

tomorrow i promise more of this

and his 5 week stats!

and this makes me happy too

(i'm sure you'll need to watch it after reading this)

baby b goes to church

since we've been going pretty much everywhere with baby (movies last night boo ya)

i decided my period of confinement probably should be over

so we took b to church

well.

sacrament meeting

this is what he wore

.....

i fell in love with this little number at a boutique in centerville and coleen obliged and bought it for us.

i thought i might bless him in this but decided on a traditional gown for all my babies instead.

this however does not change how much i l-o-v-e this little number

it reminds me something of this...

anyway....

he looked adorable and did splendid for his first hour of church

and

his dad only said

"what are you wearing"

-once-

lucky for me i have a few more months before nate really will have an opinion on these things

bravo to brig for attending church today!

on another note:

i feel like my baby doesn't like me.

sometimes when he's fussing and i hand him off to nate and he settles down

or i just want a break for a minute

i feel like he doesn't like me

i'm thrilled he likes nate

.really, i am.

but COME on

i'm the momma!

and sometimes he doesn't like me and it's not fair

:(

.gourmet.

asleep?

no.

well fed

brig just happens to be of the gourmet variety.

i guess years ago a yale study dubbed 5 common eating habits in infants:

barracudas,excited ineffectives, procrastinators, resters,

and

gourmets

yes, brig is a gourmet

and i quote:

"the gourmets insist on playing with the nipple, tasting the milk first and smacking their lips before digging in. if hurried or prodded, they become furious and scream in protest."

well that sums it up.

It sounds adorable, but since i'm still up 2 times between the hours 11 pm and 6 am i can't help but think

really, brig?

:)

oh i love you monsieur gourmet!

hi. i'm one month old!

hi.

i'm one month old!

now for what i've been up to this month

....

growing

giving the stink face

AND

- i've outgrown my nb onesies (mom wants to cry)

-my little skin tag on my chest fell off today

- mom bought size 1 diapers yesterday :(

-i have rolls on my legs (just one or two)

- i smiled at mom today (i like peek-a-boo)

-i still don't sleep through the night

- i get very sick of mom by 5 pm and want dad

-i'm a spit upper

well, if he could talk that is what he'd say.

BABY BOY

i can't believe you've been mine for a month

can't ever imagine life with out you!

love love love you

xoxo

mom

beach day

seriously... 45 min away

and we don't go often

but since we had company and i'm still technically in my "period of confinement" (ie not going to church) we headed to half moon bay!

this excursion included the following:

-beautiful drive

-delicious lobster roll

-beautiful weather

-sand beach

-frigid water

-adorably perfect baby with some good daddy time

~~~~

~~~~

we both like kissin our boy

little man was perfect

enjoyed the sun and the cuddles

AND the daddies

christian would be nates bestie

they served in the same mission and have just been friends ever since

any career move nate makes takes christian's location into consideration.

matter of fact christian was supposed to move out to cali for the same job nate did

instead he went to texas and met his wife...

anyway

i love this picture because i've known these boys from such a different stage in life.

i've seen christian from bachelor friend, to husband, to father and of course i've seen nate through that process as well :)

i love that they now have boys 8 months apart.

kaden and brig are bound to follow in their papas footsteps

bff's

ps. why is baby so much easier when were gone all day? i keep him home all day and he's fussy. we leave all day he's a sleeper.

i don't know

in the city

its so odd that we never make it into the city or anywhere else interesting around us

unless

we have company

christian and jackie we out and what a fun and AMBITIOUS weekend we had

this one was perfect on both our outings this weekend

and guess what?

he. loves. his. car seat.

and i love his stroller

interactive brig

have you had a ghiradelli hot fudge sundae?

safe to say EVERY time we go to the city we have to stop for one.

this was the first time we actually strolled through the square though

the only time nate has commented on what brig is wearing has been when he is wearing his hoodie.

so to please dad i put him in his sweats for our outing

they just happened to coordinate as well...

:)

and his momma

who adores him

spit up and all

+ 1

remember this february 20th?

2

+ 1

=

nate and paige clark family

One of those quiet ones

no. not here.

i think day 2 nate made this comment

"so i guess we didn't get one of those quiet ones"

i defiantly disagreed blaming babes fusses on newness

well.

3 weeks later and

.no.

.we didn't get one of those quiet ones.

this is a problem because

a) i don't know what IM doing

b) nate to-date isnt the most patient of men

c) im turning into a fussy mom

so as much as i love my little booger i am on 3 days of quite a bit of fussiness

dr t says two hours a day is 'normal' and i guess anything beyond is...

*gulp*

colic

so brig.

now that you're finally asleep and i should be having the energy to hop in the shower and tidy our little life up

i am going back to sleep too

when Grammy comes to town

a few things happen....

she holds babies

she buys you delicious food for every meal

she brings lotsa fun accessories

and

a little mcdonalds diet coke

.really though.

coleen came and spent 4 days with us this past weekend and it was splendid.

i actually missed my baby because she couldn't keep her hands off him :)

one oober plus is that us california clarks get together much more often when she's in town

as seen here with grammy holding cleo + brig

AND

the cousins

I

l-o-v-e

cleo

{especially when she's doubling brig}

oh... this is nate's favorite thing about brig:

rooting reflex

I know, cute.

We headed to greg and carie's sunday for a good ole' sunday dinner

{carie makes a delish sunday roast}

and mckay and brig

they're going to be buds

AND

cute jayden

who is a baby lover :)

....

it was a lovely weekend. so nice to have something to get together for.

thank you coleen for the fabulous time and for loving my baby

even if he looks like his mom

ps did you know my m-i-l has morning, daytime, and evening wear?

it's amazing and makes me want to be glamorous. but alas, you've either got it or you don't

coleen has it

she cans in velvet

:)

Well.Baby.

well baby two week visit

AND

...

we're doing well!!!

7 lbs 8 oz (31%)

20 7/8 inches long (55 %)

i can hardly stand his puppy skin...

anyway... we loved dr t and he informed us we have a hog (gaining 50 grams a day)

he also informed me feeding EVERY hour is not so good (who knew)

and that my boy is well, well!

OHH.... and look what finally arrived yesterday?

no more nursing in the abysmal couch

no more retiring to the bed

MY CHAIR IS HERE!!!

You may ask yourself, is this my beautiful life?

This was Us

This is Him

one year ago

.....

we didn't know how beautiful our life would become

because this...

and this...

are the most beautiful thing to me

When the sunshine leaves your home...

this is the only picture i have to document this post.

i am heartbroken this is the case. i want so badly for my little man to know that his nannie was there and how much she showed her love for us.

for ten days my mom was there by my side, in my house, holding my babe, and making everything run smooth as can be.

i knew it wouldn't last forever and had a ten day expiration date but when she left wednesday night i couldn't help but cry.

.all night.

when i woke up in the morning to no nate and no nannie in the other room it felt so quiet and lonely. she taught me the ropes well and truly helped me weather some hard nights and days. i had no idea how much i was going to need her going into this.

i will never forget the ten days i had her here to help with my sweet little turtle.

~now for you baby~

you should know....

nannie was by my side the entire day you tried to come home.

she was just outside the door when you finally came and was the first to hold you other than mom and dad.

she held and rocked you when mom would let you go.

she ohhd and ahhd at you everyday with mom.

she gave you your first bath at home.

she went on your first walk with you.

she drove you on your first outing (to target).

she was just outside the door when you had to go to the dr.

she fed and clothed the whole house.

most of all she loved you.

she loved dad.

she loved me.

we all miss her.

she took the sunshine with her.

i live to far away from my family. i'm doing fine and Nate helps a lot more now that nannie's gone.

but i sure miss the company and still live to far away.